Arnie Goldfein and Rabbi Nahum Simon,

Co-Executive Directors of

Rodfei Shalom Fellowship, Inc.

Events for ALL Jews ALL 12 Step recovery program

                COMBINING RECOVERY AND SPIRITUALITY WITHIN JUDAISM

                        RECOVERY NEWSLETTER – 3/12/08

Hi Everybody,

I am sitting here astounded by the retreat we had at the Perlstein Conference Center in Lake Delton, WI, this past weekend. I have no words to express what happened there. It was truly amazing!! What started as an awkward, uncomfortable weekend with a group of total strangers looking at each other with 'that look", turned into a warm, intimate, wall-breaking-down weekend with none of us wanting to leave. But let me give you some of the initial impressions from a few of the participants themselves:

"I never realized that even though I came here with knowledge of one addiction, that I may need to look at a whole lot more. Thank you!!"

"I miss you all already.  I went to an OA meeting Sunday night but it just wasn't the same because you all weren't there.  I'm floating now because this past weekend was so powerful for me.  I especially appreciate this weekend because I've felt so isolated here."

"I don't know about you but I am exhausted like I just gave birth to something.......I guess I did; myself, as a more integrated Jewish woman recovering from my various addictions which I realize now are just attempts to cope with the devastating effects of  constant sexual, psychological, verbal, mental and most importantly spiritual abuse. This weekend really solidified for me that I have to face the truth and accept what happened to me and continue to take responsibility for not abusing myself or others through my various addictions.

Thank you to each and every one of you for taking the risk of committing to this weekend and showing up as your truest selves."

"I never realized how much the same we all are, even in our different addictions. I also never realized how different the substance(s) of our addictions are and how the diseases themselves keep us separate and apart from each other."

More impressions to follow!!!

 2) Our Teffilin Facilitation Program is still on the move and, as mentioned, we now have two Donors, each with their own criteria. The combined qualification criteria are simple: a) Fill out our Teffilin Request Form (you need to request the form from us); b) Be in recovery from Alcohol, Drugs or Sexual Addiction; c) Commit to putting on the Teffilin once a week; d) Does not currently own a pair of Teffilin; e) Have a financial need.        

If you feel you qualify, want to commit to this program (remember, honesty is a key ingredient in recovery) and you wish to apply, contact me via email at arnieg@rodfieshalom.org and I will send you the necessary paperwork to get things rolling. Once an individual qualifies and all the fine details are worked out, the Teffilin will be on their way.

These Donors' guidelines are NOT meant to exclude those in other programs. They ARE meant to do something positive for others and promote these Donors' particular requests.

If anyone else wishes to become a Teffilin Donator with a set of criteria of their own, please let me know. Or, if anyone wishes to start their own Good Deed Program and wish for us to facilitate it, let me know too. Let's see if we can do something here that I never even imagined or thought of – have others who are willing to be Givers, give. And have those who are not in the position to afford it, receive something to enhance both their recovery and Judaism.

 

3) Our Email Discussion Group. Our email Listserv discussion group for all those recovering from addiction and their family members is open for all to share their experience, strength, hope and Spirituality with other Jews in recovery.  There are no requirements to be a part of the discussion, as long as postings meet the guidelines that have been established. Just send your name, email address and a short paragraph introducing yourself to rebnahum@rodfeishalom.org. We will then send you a return email with instructions on how to sign into the group and begin receiving messages from all the discussion contributors. It's another way to become a part of our family and rid you of some of those isolation tendencies.

4) Our weekly call-in meeting continues on Wednesday nights, from 9:00 PM – 10:00 PM EDT, for the meeting and ½ hour or so afterwards for fellowship.  To join us, simply dial 218-486-1300 and enter the participant bridge code of: 933051.  Please join us and share your wisdom and experience. Please note: If you have unlimited long distance this is a FREE call!! If you are new to call-in meetings, may I suggest you give it a try? It truly is a wonderful experience and we offer a lot of love and support as well as sharing and fellowship.  It's also a great way for you to get some of our event information.

HELP!!! WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT!!!!  From the moderator:  

Hi All,

 I hope you are all well. The phone meeting has gotten a bit thin lately, and with Tamar due for surgery March 25th and taking some time to recover, I am hoping that others will be able to call in more often. If anyone would like to speak or do a topic this week, please let me know. Please help keep this meeting going!
Ruth

Nuff Said!!

Please note: I have found a new service that has promised (?) to eliminate the problems some of our members have had dialing in. I am in the process of setting that up and will give everyone ample notice and let you know exactly when we will cut over to that new service.

5) Our best wishes for a complete healing to Rabbi Tamar who, when not feeling well discovered she has a brain tumor – or as she told me "I found one of my loose marbles".  Our hearts and prayers are with you for a full recovery.

6)     Upcoming Events: Save the DATES!

a) We have reserved June 22, 2008, for our next Spiritual Day. Keynote Speaker and location to be announced.

b) September 5-7, 2008 for a Spiritual Retreat Weekend in the Northeast (tentative)

c) September 19-21 in the Midwest for a Spiritual Retreat Weekend (tentative)

d) Yearly Succah Recovery Event – October, 2008.

e) December, 2008 – Florida Spiritual Retreat Weekend (tentative)

f) January, 2009 – 8 Day Recovery Cruise!!!

DETAILS TO FOLLOW SHORTLY!!!!! 

7) Spiritual Thought(s) for the Week:

"Patience is important to our growth and peace of mind. Without patience, we would have difficulty holding down anxiety, anger, envy and unreasonable pride...When we set goals that we can reach and are patient with our progress, we save ourselves a lot of anxiety and ultimately disappointment and resentment."

I remember reading a sign that said- G-d please grant me patience, but I want it right now! Well, I am guilty of impatience. Guilty of wanting what I want. And yes, it has proven to be a problem for me, in holding down all of those things mentioned above: anxiety, anger, envy and pride. Amazing to think that all of those might be solved with a little patience.                                                     

Do you know where I learned a lesson about patience? It was something I learned from two doves who took turns sitting on the little eggs in their nest, right outside my home. I learned so much from those birds that summer, long ago. First of all, I noticed how whichever one sat in the daytime stayed until the other one flew back to take its place in the evening. It didn't matter how hot it got, that bird still did not leave to go somewhere to cool off or take a drink. That bird wouldn't leave until its mate came to take its turn on those little eggs.

I thought about the ability Hashem gave a little creature to just do its job, and not to worry about what would happen next; not to complain, not to fear that the eggs wouldn't hatch; not to worry about the winter, or whether its mate would return; the simple faith of the bird, seemingly saying- I will do my job, and Hashem will do His, helping my eggs to hatch, and my babies to live- I will wait my turn to take a rest, and surely my mate will return in time. I really did think these things that summer, and took this lesson from those little birds.

Patience, that was one thing that was clear to me- they had the patience to just do what must be done, and just sat there, waiting for those little eggs to hatch.
Me- I would have shaken the eggs up a bit, in an effort to hurry them along. I would have checked my watch, wondering where my partner was already. Or maybe, I would have snuck off for a few minutes here or there, to take care of my own needs.

Patience could surely help me deal with my own anxiety, pride, envy, anger. Perhaps I would do well to remember the lesson those birds taught me long ago. That's one of the reasons He put all the animals here- at least that's what it says in Proverbs - "Go to the ant, thou lazy one, and learn from its ways and gain wisdom".  And goals? Their goals were simple ones- do your job, sit patiently, and Hashem will take care of the rest.

That's a simple enough lesson for me to learn. (and the promised reward of 'peace of mind' is something I could really use!) But it takes trust and faith, two things that I have learned through my 12 step program and through the Torah. I am truly grateful for this wisdom. So there's hope for me yet!
For now, I'll leave out the end of that old sign and just say, Hashem, please grant me more patience, and I will gratefully accept this gift from you.                                             From: A Jewish Twelve Step Blogger 

8) Recovery humor of the week: In my attempt to bring a little smile and laughter to our recovery family, I am going to continue my crusade of publishing a joke. Now, I know what is funny to one person is not to another but I am doing this all in good humor – end of story – because I think in recovery we should laugh and have a good time!!

1) I day when I was drunk out of my mind, I went to the store. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!

Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. What did I care, my car was parked around the corner.

2) Actual Signs from around the world:

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:  We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:  If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:   Stop: Drive Sideaways.

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.

THIS IS OUR ONLY AFFORDABLE WAYS OF GETTING OUR MESSAGE OF RECOVERY OUT TO THE RECOVERY WORLD. PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD!!

VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT: WWW.RODFEISHALOM.ORG

A few administrative notes: If you know you're moving and / or changing your email address, please let us know beforehand to ensure continued delivery of your newsletters.

In order to get the message of recovery out to as many people as possible, we will begin to start listing other recovery meetings on our website in the near future. This will be based on a mutual commitment. Just forward your information to us and we will get it listed as soon as we start the listings.  

Well, that's it for this week. For more information about any of our activities or events, feel free to call me at 718-261-4049 or email me at arnieg@rodfeishalom.org. To have your name or someone else's name added to our email list, simply email me and I'll be more than happy to subscribe you. And, you can visit our website at www.rodfeishalom.org.

 Have a great Day – just for today.

 Arnie